A word from Papa

Papa wants to share a story about me.  I will yield today's post to him.

The Adventures of Lily, The Very Busy Beagle

This is a story about a small dog named Lily Mae. Lily is a beagle, not very tall maybe about 12 inches at the shoulder. She is one and a half years old and is a VERY busy beagle. Her day starts with a trip outside to take care of her personal business. Then it's play time. She romps and plays with the other dogs at home. Or she rides in the car with her owner who has to travel a lot for her work. Her owner takes Lily wherever she goes. Lily loves to look out the window from her pink car seat as her owner drives down the road.

When her owner stops for gas or food Lily gets to get out to stretch her legs and to sniff the ground. Being a beagle she loves to sniff stuff, a lot of stuff. She loves to go to new places so she can sniff new stuff. Here is a chart so you can see just how her day is divided.

I know what your thinking.  Her day adds up to 110%.  True.  She IS a very busy beagle.

One day Lily & her owner had the weekend off. So they decided to go home for a visit. Grammy & Papa loved Lily and her owner very much. When Lily got home she jumped out of the car and ran to the front door. As soon as she got in the house she jumped up on her papa’s lap and cuddled with him. Papa loved to play with her. Her favorite game to play is tug o war with a rope.

On that particular weekend the family decided to go to a Renaissance Festival. There was so much to see and do and smell. Oh Boy! That was the best part.  Lots of people dressed up real funny and lots of food smells in the air. Lily was a very, very busy beagle that day.
They walked every where and stopped to watch other people and dogs and to talk to them. One man, gave lily his turkey leg that he was eating on. He said he couldn't finish it and that Lily could have it. Lily was delighted! She finished up very quickly and then it was on to see the other things.

She saw a very funny looking pony. The man said it was a horse/zebra hybrid. It looked like a regular pony but it had stripes on the back of his legs. Lily was very curious at the sight of this funny looking animal and she went very close to the fence to sniff it. She was very skittish about getting too close to the fence. A very wise choice.

The next thing she found was a dog park. This is a fenced off area just for dogs to run with other dogs and make new friends.

This brave guy survived a house fire.  Those markings on his face are scars.  He was a great dog & ran around with Lily in the dog park.

After the park Lily watched some jousting.  She was getting tired and the loud noise from the horns made her nervous so papa held her.
                                                 
Soon after the group decided that it was time to go home.  Lily was one tired beagle and she slept all the way home. Soon she would be all rested up for her next big adventure!

The End.

Sticks I've Chewed On

My human doesn't fully appreciate the sublime.  Take for example a stick.  That musky earthy taste is yummy.  Sticks are easy to chew & remind me of a bone. The crunchy sound and pile of shreds and spit I leave on the ground is really satisfying.  This spring I spent much of my time dragging large branches across the yard & disrupting the wood pile kept under the deck.  I brought several up the stairs to the top of the deck but SWHT forbade me from bringing them in the house.  She did consent to let me bring a stick in the car that I found at a gas station during one of our many stops along the road.  Every stick has a special story behind it.  I carefully select the one that has the best smell on it.  I give it a few test chews to make sure the texture is just right.  If there are other dogs around I do a victory lap in front of them to announce that I found the perfect stick.  I make sure to wave the stick in their faces and run like hell if they try to grab it.

This is my car stick.  I found it outside a Casey's gas station in a small town in Missouri.  It's one of my special ones ;)

I searched all over the mulched dog park to find to find this one.  SWHT was impressed that when she threw it I would find the exact same one among the pile of sticks on the ground.  Considering my awesome sense of smell this doesn't seem like such an amazing thing but SWHT is sometimes easily impressed.

My Grandhuman also known as Grampy found this giant stick at the dog park for me.  I tried to run off with it but it was quite heavy.  It was also a source of much laughter to the other humans there.  Not sure I understand why that would be so funny but humans are an odd bunch and generally unhappy so I won't begrudge them a laugh.

A Word About The Couch

A Word About The Couch

The couch is mine.

Yes you paid for it.

Yes you are responsible for cleaning it.

Yes you dig out my pig ears & biscuits when I cannot reach them and you grow tired of my whining and scratching the cushions.

The couch is mine.

You see.  The other dogs and I own the couch.  Sometimes we share with the cat.

Even at the Grandhumans home, the couch is mine.

Even when my mini me and I have our ears flipped back.  The couch is mine.

Riddle Me This

Riddle Me This...

So last night after a long day of work SWHT pulls into the hotel parking lot and does that odd familiar shuffle of keys, phone, purse, etc...
Why do humans need so many accessories? Since it was rainy and cold SWHT carried me on her shoulder into the room.  In an effort to reduce all the stuff she insists on carrying she decided to leave it all in the car and come back for it later.  A lot of sense if SWHT had actually REMEMBERED her car keys.  How does SWHT do this for the THIRD time in two months?  How does she forget so easily?  Beagles are often accused of not being very smart which is entirely untrue.  When I bury a biscuit at my Grandhumans home I can be gone for months and remember exactly where it was.  I've shown SWHT many times how to dig a hole or find a hiding spot for things you'd like to keep.  She has seen me bury these items and return to them later.  Why haven't humans caught on to this?  Ahhh you funny random creatures.  A million years on earth and the self proclaimed title of being on the top of the food chain and you lock your silly selves out of your cars.  Me thinks the hype of having thumbs is just that, hype.

I spent most of the next hour under the bed while she hooted & clucked about the car. Eventually my beagle senses let me know that her stress level was lower and I inched out from under the bed to sit next to SWHT and remind her, with my sad hound dog eyes, that it was feeding time.
I ate, she ate, my dog toys were brought out, cuteness ensued, everybody wins.

SWHT is really powerless when I strike this pose.  Look at my sweet little paws.  One can beg and still be a lady ;)

My Kingdom For A Match

My Kingdom For A Match


This morning was typical. SWHT (She Who Has Thumbs) is not a peaceful sleeper and over the year and a half I have spent with her I have adjusted to the steady tossing and turning of a human in my bed at night.  The thing I will never get used to is the farting.  Jesus Christ my head is under the covers! I am after all a beagle with a sense of smell 10,000 times greater than any human.  Not to dish dirt on SWHT but she struggles with a lot of allergies and I would bet you a pig ear that she smells less than most humans.
Like most humans SWHT sometimes struggles with common sense as well as her allergies but why she hasn't deduced that farting under the covers is NOT a victimless crime is beyond me.

There is a double standard at play here.  SWHT can toot out a symphonic melody under the covers and I'm supposed to pretend I don't notice them.  An example of my treatment: recently over the Thanksgiving holiday my Grandhumans shared lots of delicious smoked ham and stuffing with me despite the protests of SWHT who limits my diet to food & dog snacks ONLY.  Naturally this produced some gas and do you think for one moment that SWHT would graciously let this slide? NOOOOOOO!!!  She announced every emission and called attention to it, as if I could stop it, then shooed me off the couch.  A couch SWHT often farts on herself.

The thought of staging a gastrointestinal intervention has crossed my mind. If this continues I may have to move some stuff around to do just that.  I've also considered filing a grievance with my union the AFB (Amalgamated Federation of Beagles) local 603. Although I think SWHT has become slightly aware of my objections.  Recently she has noticed that I have begun to leave a small opening in the covers so that I can stick my nose out in the mornings.  I also remove myself from the situation by climbing out of the covers and laying on top of them.  This is a typical cooling practice for all dogs as sometimes our humans get quite warm in bed and we have a protective layer of fur that those poor saps don't possess.

Ah humans...you sweet, funny, backwards creatures.  What would you do without the levity we canines bring to your lives?

Well I'm off for the day.  SWHT benefits greatly from watching me run around and chew on sticks at the dog park.  It starts her day off with a smile and I suppose I should be a responsible human owner despite her many flaws.

To the beaglemobile....