A Word About The Couch

A Word About The Couch

The couch is mine.

Yes you paid for it.

Yes you are responsible for cleaning it.

Yes you dig out my pig ears & biscuits when I cannot reach them and you grow tired of my whining and scratching the cushions.

The couch is mine.

You see.  The other dogs and I own the couch.  Sometimes we share with the cat.

Even at the Grandhumans home, the couch is mine.

Even when my mini me and I have our ears flipped back.  The couch is mine.

Riddle Me This

Riddle Me This...

So last night after a long day of work SWHT pulls into the hotel parking lot and does that odd familiar shuffle of keys, phone, purse, etc...
Why do humans need so many accessories? Since it was rainy and cold SWHT carried me on her shoulder into the room.  In an effort to reduce all the stuff she insists on carrying she decided to leave it all in the car and come back for it later.  A lot of sense if SWHT had actually REMEMBERED her car keys.  How does SWHT do this for the THIRD time in two months?  How does she forget so easily?  Beagles are often accused of not being very smart which is entirely untrue.  When I bury a biscuit at my Grandhumans home I can be gone for months and remember exactly where it was.  I've shown SWHT many times how to dig a hole or find a hiding spot for things you'd like to keep.  She has seen me bury these items and return to them later.  Why haven't humans caught on to this?  Ahhh you funny random creatures.  A million years on earth and the self proclaimed title of being on the top of the food chain and you lock your silly selves out of your cars.  Me thinks the hype of having thumbs is just that, hype.

I spent most of the next hour under the bed while she hooted & clucked about the car. Eventually my beagle senses let me know that her stress level was lower and I inched out from under the bed to sit next to SWHT and remind her, with my sad hound dog eyes, that it was feeding time.
I ate, she ate, my dog toys were brought out, cuteness ensued, everybody wins.

SWHT is really powerless when I strike this pose.  Look at my sweet little paws.  One can beg and still be a lady ;)

My Kingdom For A Match

My Kingdom For A Match


This morning was typical. SWHT (She Who Has Thumbs) is not a peaceful sleeper and over the year and a half I have spent with her I have adjusted to the steady tossing and turning of a human in my bed at night.  The thing I will never get used to is the farting.  Jesus Christ my head is under the covers! I am after all a beagle with a sense of smell 10,000 times greater than any human.  Not to dish dirt on SWHT but she struggles with a lot of allergies and I would bet you a pig ear that she smells less than most humans.
Like most humans SWHT sometimes struggles with common sense as well as her allergies but why she hasn't deduced that farting under the covers is NOT a victimless crime is beyond me.

There is a double standard at play here.  SWHT can toot out a symphonic melody under the covers and I'm supposed to pretend I don't notice them.  An example of my treatment: recently over the Thanksgiving holiday my Grandhumans shared lots of delicious smoked ham and stuffing with me despite the protests of SWHT who limits my diet to food & dog snacks ONLY.  Naturally this produced some gas and do you think for one moment that SWHT would graciously let this slide? NOOOOOOO!!!  She announced every emission and called attention to it, as if I could stop it, then shooed me off the couch.  A couch SWHT often farts on herself.

The thought of staging a gastrointestinal intervention has crossed my mind. If this continues I may have to move some stuff around to do just that.  I've also considered filing a grievance with my union the AFB (Amalgamated Federation of Beagles) local 603. Although I think SWHT has become slightly aware of my objections.  Recently she has noticed that I have begun to leave a small opening in the covers so that I can stick my nose out in the mornings.  I also remove myself from the situation by climbing out of the covers and laying on top of them.  This is a typical cooling practice for all dogs as sometimes our humans get quite warm in bed and we have a protective layer of fur that those poor saps don't possess.

Ah humans...you sweet, funny, backwards creatures.  What would you do without the levity we canines bring to your lives?

Well I'm off for the day.  SWHT benefits greatly from watching me run around and chew on sticks at the dog park.  It starts her day off with a smile and I suppose I should be a responsible human owner despite her many flaws.

To the beaglemobile....